Not much to say here really besides the fact that if you’ve been around me at all for the past week, I have been straight BUMPIN’ this shit. In the words of an old lanky-ass acquaintance of mine who shall not be named, “this shit goes sooooo haard!” Video after the break, and for my money the best quote is by far “I’m on a boat and, its goin fast and, I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan!”

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Sooo its been a minute since I’ve dropped my 2 cents on this blog, and I wish I could say it was because I was busy but that would be patently false. Oddly enough I always seem to get less done the more time I have on my hands. So while busting my ass campaigning and not sleeping I started this blog. And now that I’m busting my ass at my new job whilst trying to finish up my last semester at Columbia, I’m baaaack.

So a quick recap: We have a new president whom I must admit I’m rather fond of, I’ve got myself a new job aka sleep-killing obsession, I’m nearly done @ Columbia (the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter as the days go by), I went to the inauguration and got frostbite which was TOTALLY worth it, I fried my beloved Mac’s hard drive and I’m in the process of trying to get that fixed, and we’re caught up for the most part.

With that, I’ll leave you with a little Boston after the break to commemorate the occasion.

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David Letterman is apparently not one to be trifled with. Senator McCain cancelled his appearance on the The Late Show last minute citing his crisis-prompted campaign suspension. In response, Letterman called bullshit on McCain’s decision to “suspend his campaign” fiercely and often and repeatedly said that “something smells” about the  timing of it. He also generally kept up a steady sonning of Senator McCain as if he were a kid who was pretending to be sick in order to get out of school. For me, the most penetrating criticism Letterman offered was when he repeatedly asked why McCain didn’t simply turn over campaigning to Governor Palin while he returned to Congress to lead his party in dealing with the economic crisis. Using a football metaphor, Letterman asked why the 2nd string QB couldn’t take over from the starter for the time being.  The painfully obvious answer to this question – Governor Palin’s absolute dearth of the ability, knowledge and qualifications to take over the campaign temporarily – hung in the air in a manner very much akin to the fetid stench Letterman spoke of earlier. It was all, to put it crassly, some seriously rough shit. And if all of that wasn’t enough, the symbolism of the guest he booked to replace McCain (MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann) spoke volumes as well.

Add this to Campbell Brown’s blistering criticism of the McCain campaign’s kid glove press-protection of Governor Palin as sexist, their attempt to push back both the presidential and vice presidential debates, and of course Obama’s widening lead in the polls (WaPo/ABC has it at 9%), and one sees a campaign that is very much on the ropes. As Prof. Gitlin said to me when we were speaking about the GOP’s Palin-produced, post-convention bounce on Monday afternoon, “That bubble was oh-so-spherical, wasn’t it?”

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Pulitzer Prize-winning conservative journalist George Will is the latest prominent righty who seems to be publicly eying a position under Obama and the Democrats’ “big tent” after leaving the Republican “bulldozer” behind (many thanks to Prof. Todd Gitlin for writing the intriguing book from whic I borrowed this terminology).

In his latest Op-ed piece in the Washington Post, George Will decries the knee-jerk attitude that McCain has been taking lately (see: Georgia as “the first serious crisis since the Cold War”, “We should like tots fire Chris Cox of the SEC and no I dunno why”, picking Sarah Palin as VP with ZERO vetting, etc.) and linking it implicitly with the disasters of the last 7 years under the Bush administration. In this piece he likens McCain to “a flustered rookie playing in a league too high” as well as comparing him explicitly to the Queen of Hearts in Alice and Wonderland (you remember her, she had a fondness for baseless decapitation). Finally he very heavy-handedly insinuates that McCain’s temperment – “boiling moralism and bottomless reservoir of certitudes” –  “is not suited to the presidency” while Senator Obama’s temperament is.

Add another one to the Obamacan tally. Funny how a lot of the smart/respectable conservatives are trying desperately to get away from the elephant in the room even if they won’t admit it straight away (see: Hagel, Chuck). It’s almost like the GOP has run out of ideas…

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So Rush Limbaugh, because he is Rush Limbaugh, was on his usual crazy, unsubstantiated bullshit. He began by with an utterly baseless assertion that “Sarah Palin’s emails…have been hacked, no doubt by Obama thugs”. Then he went on to attack Senator Obama personally as “A community organizer, the street agitator, the Chicago thug”. Now normally I don’t even mess with this kind of foolishness, but The American Prospect Blog’s response to this joker was so funny I had to drop the link in. Text below the break.

“BARACK OBAMA IS THE ILLEST

You don’t get much realer than Barack Obama, it’s true. I hear he bleeds courvoisier. He chews spent slugs like bubblegum. He can roll a blunt with his toes.

Remember when conservatives were saying that whole “community organizer” thing had nothing to do with race?”

THE BARACK IS IN THE BUILDIN! THROW YOUR DIAMONDS UP!

This segment, which will certainly be recurring throughout the campaign – Oh how I wish I had thought of this back when Jeremiah Wright went and acted a goddam fool at the NAACP Anniversary – comes courtesy of the incomparably incisive and hilarious Chris Rock. In preparing myself for his new standup “Kill the Messenger” which is going to be aired this Saturday on HBO, I was on YouTube looking over his old stuff and I came across this clip, which I’ve seen about 100 times and which is still side-splitting every time I see it. The money quote and inspiration for this segment occurs at 1:48.

And so, now that the origin is explained, the first ever “N*gga, Is You Crazy?” award goes to….

Sandra Bernhard!

She is on some serious “I have taken temporary leave of my senses” shit in this video where she rants and raves incoherently about Gov. Sarah Palin. I mean I understand that there are a ton of good/not psychotic reasons to not like the idea of Sarah Palin as VP or President, but DAAAAYUUUM. The money quote from this nonsensical tirade, at least for me, is when Bernahard calls Palin a “turncoat bitch who would be gang raped by blacks in Manhattan”.

Speaking as a “black in Manhattan” I can only ask, “N*gga, Is You Crazy?”

Ahem. Ahem. BYAAAAAAAAAAAH!

*For more on politicians who demolished their opponents with superior wit see the following relevant topics:

“Election Winners, US Presidential History”; “Clinton, Bill”; “Reagan, Ronald”; “Roosevelt, Franklin”

P.s. Just Because I can and because I miss Dave Chappelle INTENSELY:

Kudos to you Chris Matthews aka Tweety Bird for this most exceptional and relentless pwning of this Republican parrot/douchebag hybrid. I especially love how towards the end of the 2nd vid he is almost giggling at how obscenely stupid this guy is. Now for the love of God could we PLEASE start talking about the substance of this campaign? I’ll start with one example:

We are in the midst of a severe economic downturn where even this countries upper-middle class is hurting and those below that mark are struggling to survive on a day to day basis. Major banks are failing. People are unable to keep paying for their homes. Big problem, yes? Now a comparison of the ways the two major candidates would approach the economy as far as taxes are concerned.

See all that blue at the bottom 2/3rds of the chart? That means that if you are in the bottom 60% of the earners of this country – if you are upper middle to lower class and make less than $66,000 a year – then Barack Obama is going to give you a fair tax cut (2%-5%) that should help you through the recession a bit.

Conversely, do you see the teeny-tiny, razor-thin red slivers on the other side? That means John McCain doesn’t even have a fucking percent (.2%-.7%) for your broke ass. On the upside, if you’re making $600,000 a year or if you’re really his kind of people and are making $2.8 million a year or more he’s got a 3% to 5% tax cut coming your way. So, rich folks get ready to buy back that 2nd summer home you had to sell when your shares in AIG went into the crapper. The rest of y’all? As my friend K says, “Te jodiste”.

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From upper-middle class to jobless in the twinkling of an eye. HOORAY RECESSION!

From upper-middle class to jobless in the twinkling of an eye. HOORAY RECESSION!

Rich jack-off whos smiling because the guy wholl CUT his taxes is ahead in the polls. And because its all gravy, what with all his money being tucked away in Switzerland.

Rich jack-off who's smiling because the guy who'll CUT his taxes is ahead in the polls. And because it's all gravy, what with all his money being tucked away in Switzerland.

So Merrill Lynch has finally bowed to the pressure and has sold itself to Bank of America for about $50 billion in order to avoid an impending catastrophe. The folks over at Lehman Brothers were not able to find a buyer and are now even closer to liquidation. Word is that insurance behemoth AIG (American International Group) is in some bad shape as well. A week ago George W. and his mates in the 2nd branch were forced to take control of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. In short, as far as the economy is concerned, the big boys aren’t doing too hot. They are in fact, according to the New York Times, “teeter[ing] amid fear of a wider crisis”. And for those of us who have always lived on Earth and don’t have to deal with the ugly reality of hurtling from a lofty perch down towards it, gas prices (and commodity prices as well, because gas is involved in making and shipping EVERYTHING) continue to be obscenely high and have only gotten worse (avg. price up from $3.68 a gallon to $3.80) due to Hurrican Ike’s forcing the closing of refineries.

All this, and the guy who has admitted to “know[ing] a lot less about economics” and “still need[ing] to be educated” is up in the polls. I’m not going to lie people. This does not make me a happy camper. Read the candidates economic plans. See the ENORMOUS difference in what ‘middle class tax cuts’ means to each candidate. And if you already know that the Republican candidates for President and Vice President know/care so blessedly little about the economy and foreign policy respectively – not to mention shifting away from depending on foreign oil, fighting global warming, better health care, protecting reproductive rights and an ideologically balanced Supreme Court to name a few – then please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD do more than just idly worry/ask me how I feel about the polls/make snarky jokes. Get the fuck involved! Give just an hour or two a week to get voters registered, etc. so that we can send these people packing and get back to having a country that actually functions.

Or don’t. And shut your fucking mouth about how we’re in the shitter and will be for four more years.

K and I basically spent the whole day downtown in the nasty-ass rain that was drowning New York two days ago while he was getting his colour film processed into negatives (which turned out amazing, as is to be expected from the enormity of his talent). At any rate, we peeped MUJI, which is now quite possibly my favourite place ever. Or at least for the next few minutes. So in addition to a sweet stainless steel business card holder which will be used to amp up my shameless self-promotion (when I recently met former Mayor Dinkins and a number of CEOs/politicians/etc. I realized how lame it was of me to not have a business card, considering what I’ve been doing since last September) I got myself a lovely new notebook. They had a gorgeous fountain pen that I was enamoured with as well…but it was $20. And my living-off-work-study black ass is far too broke to pay $20 for a pen. Anyway, the point is that I’ve been writing in that new notebook as I’d previously been writing in my old Moleskines – lewd thoughts, stream-of-consciousness stuff, memories and what have you. The contents of my first page are after the break if your interested.

“New Beginnings” (09/13/08 @ 2:22 AM)

A new book is always exciting – the crisp pages, the space waiting to be filled, the comforting repetition of equidistant lines page after page – and much like a new day or a new year, a new book offers a fresh start. There are new topics to be written on, new ideas to flesh out, new wells of emotion to tap. And despite the fact that even a new book cannot be completely new; for instance I will still intermittently gnaw on the edge of my pen or kiss my teeth disapprovingly at a work I’ll have to cross out – old habits cannot be barred from new experiences alas; even the familiarity of this ‘newness’ contributes to the sense of wonder. For while this paper may have been written on before and recycled, while this moment itself is in many ways a recycled product of older moments, the act of creasing a cover, filling a first page and smudging ink on my palm and the sides of my fingers is a reminder that life is as much about renewal as it is about endings, as much about new sentences as it is about fullstops and as much about learning to crawl as it is about straining to walk. While it is our lot to press on steadily in the page-turner that is the book of life with no ability to go back and re-read our favourite parts with the same wonder and lustre they once held, it is fitting and oftentimes fulfilling to know that there’s another shot to take, even if we would like a mulligan for the last one. And that simple truth is the essence of what makes something as innocuous as a new book to scribble in so pleasant, so daring and so (dare I say it?) poetic. God gives new opportunities regardless of what I did with the old ones and new pages despite what I scrawled on the last ones.